Breaking The Sinner by Ember Leigh

Author:Ember Leigh [Leigh, Ember]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-02-18T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 25

Gen clutched a pillow between her arms as she stared at the blank wall of her bedroom. If she watched it for long enough, it could become the featureless taupe wall of her bedroom back home. And for some reason, a day after those mind-blowing orgasms, when she’d been at the pinnacle of her independence and womanhood, all she wanted to do was crawl back to the innocent bubble she’d left behind.

Guilt swarmed as thickly as breathy recollections of Cobra’s tongue pressing inside her. The way that heat seemed to spread like roots. And with every lascivious thought about last night came the internal reprimand.

What would your parents think if they found out? She clutched the pillow tighter. Bethany probably already knows, spying from Heaven. What sort of role model are you being for Mary? She pinched her eyes shut. How can you ever expect to find a husband now that you’ve gone and sullied yourself?

The rational part of her brain didn’t believe these thoughts. But every other part of her did.

Gen buried her face in the pillow, willing the thoughts away. Just lying in bed reminded her of Cobra’s delicious heat pressed against her. The way his fingers had dug into her butt cheeks. Branding her.

The alarm clock bleated weakly from her nightstand. She launched an arm to shut it off. She’d been awake for forty-five minutes already. Reliving the most amazing orgasms of her life. Praying for forgiveness. Wishing he was in her bed again already, so they could keep edging closer to home.

Gen forced herself to roll out of bed. She moved through her morning routine like a zombie—pee, brush teeth, comb hair for five minutes, then return to her room, where she knelt at the bedside, head pressed against the comforter.

She still did this every morning. The prayer position, etched into her from twenty-four years of practice. But since coming to LA, it was pure posturing. No prayers came anymore.

Nothing other than, Please God, help me find my way.

She stayed there until her strength returned. And then she clambered to her feet, resuming her zombie course.

Cobra would be at work today. She could at least gaze into those dark eyes and find the reassuring roots of what they shared yesterday.

But what about Mary?

Guilt slashed at her, and the deeper it cut, the more she knew it wasn’t about yesterday. It was about the whole damn journey. Leaving home. Choosing life over family. She’d settled on a year, calling it an homage to Bethany. But it wasn’t an homage. It was desertion.

She’d done what she wanted. Whether it was for a day or a year, it didn’t matter. She’d turned her back on the only family she’d been blessed to be born with.

Tears pricked at her eyes, but she shook her head, reaffirming that they had no place in this morning. Three months in Los Angeles, and she was doing far better than expected. That left nine months to see, do, and sin every way possible. She still wanted this for herself.

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